17 Things Only People from the Midwest Say
1. Ope: It isn't a typo; it is a way of life. We over apologize for everything.
2. Fixin' To: To think OMW could be FT. That's more efficient, right? The point is, bear with us; we are getting to it.
3. Soda: This makes sense. Some of you say "Coke'" for everything. If you disagree it is only because you were indoctrinated.
4. Potluck: If you are invited to a potluck, then arrive with your best casserole to share. If you are lucky, there will be at least one dish with some vegetables other than corn.
5. Puppy Chow: You aren't being offered dog food - promise. It is our term for muddy buddies.
6. Up North: The vague yet specific direction where we go on weekend trips, or to cabins, or on fishing excursions to anything north of Vanderburgh County.
7. Cornhole: Our friends up north call it bags.
8. Whatcha Thinkin' Bout: What's on your mind? We are friendly people who genuinely care. Tell us, k?
9. Gonna Sneak by Ya: You've been standing in front of the oatmeal we want to buy for some time now. We respected your time to decide, but we have to get home to take the kids to baseball. Speed it up!
10. I Better Not Keep Ya: This conversation's time limit has expired. We enjoy talking to ya, but we also have to make dinner.
11. Tennis Shoes: Commonly pronounced "tenna shoes."
12. Going to Town: Even if you live in Evansville, you might say, "I'm going into town. What do you need?"
13. Taters: Potatoes. It's like shorthand for it.
15. Take a Hike: If we say this, we are fuming.
16. Bless Your Heart: We might be offering genuine sympathy, or we might be gently saying, "Well, that wasn't the brightest thing to do."
17. Thank You: Just kidding, we know you say this, too. We pride ourselves on manners.
